Harder to Mend
by Bluegirl11375
Summary: Chap 6 up. Ai's visit to her sister's tomb with Shuichi. A call bw Conan and Ran.
1. Broken String, Broken Red String

Broken String, Broken Red String

The wind cried for its lover as it sends already fallen snow flakes once again into the air. The trees waved to the boy as he walked in the snow. 'Where is he going?' is the first thing that came to everybody's mind as they saw the boy abut 12 years of age. If the people who saw him fighting against the wind know him-the true him-they would know that it is his 25th birthday. But no one does.

Kudo Shinichi-no-Edogawa Conan advanced toward the building he has been to many times in search of hope but came out hopeless. The dark building where Haibara Ai- or should I say Miyano Shiho- researched on the antidote. That day, Kudo Shinichi still filled his heart with hope because of a telephone call from one special girl, asking him to go the movies, that same theater five years ago where they almost died together. That is where she cut the blue wore, and the other wires. The only thing that ties them together is the red string by the pinkie, that thin string. Over the years, the string got thinner and thinner for Shinichi with each time Haibara reported no success. And the string got thinner for Ran who watched herself turn from 19, a sweet number, into 24, and soon, 25. How thin could the red string get before it breaks forever?

Just yesterday, he had an argument with Haibara. It all started when he asked when will she finally have the antidote. Haibara, who did not want to make things even worse and knew that he was frustrated, said nothing. But Shinichi asked again, and that is when she replied quietly but strongly, "Maybe in a day, maybe in a week, maybe forever." Shinichi got very angry, even though he does not know if it is with himself or with Haibara, said, "Why didn't I go with my parents to find the antidote?" Haibara, who usually would not have cared, surprised Shinichi to find her eyes full of tears. Shinichi knew that it was his fault that he chose to stay, but he can't help it but blame it on Haibara. She felt angry at Shinichi for treating her like someone who he could blame because he is just feeling bad. Haibara knew that it is her fault, _her _fault that she made the antidote. It is her fault that Shinichi turned younger instead of dead. It is her fault that he had to investigate on those mysterious men. But there wasn't a sound out of her. She just looked at Kudo, very carefully and said, "Kudo, if all these years, you have been feeling this about me, why do I have to stay and be so hated? Because you miss Ran, because tomorrow it is your 25th birthday or 12th birthday, because Sonoko is recommending another man, because Ran just talked to you on the phone, because you just feel like it-every reason makes me be hated by you. Now let me ask you a question. Why?" There was never a 'why' Kudo Shinichi couldn't answer. "_Why _is the victim killed by drowning instead of being strangled?" "_Why _did the murderer leave a letter?" "_Why _ does the father of the victim go the long way instead of the shortcut?" All these whys. And now, he got the hardest why ever. "_Why does everything that happens makes Shinichi want to blame Haibara."_

Kudo Shinichi put all that out of his mind. He did not care if Mouri and Sonoko recommended this strong, athletic man or this artistic painter for Ran. But he also knew that Ran was not going to wait for him forever. That is too much to ask for any girl. Forever _is _a long time. He could not say his feelings to anyone but the wind. As he arrived at his old home he did not live in for such a long time. He almost forgot how many years. Regret filled his heart. If only he went with his parents, he would have gotten the antidote already. He then could have really come back, come back as Kudo Shinichi.

As he walked down the stairs to the basement, he shouted, "Haibara! Haibara!" He turned on the lights. "Haibara!" He found no one on the chair on which Haibara would use to sit on. But he did find something else: a letter. Shinichi quickly tore it open and his eyes darted to the paper.

"Kudo,

You will be very angry, I believe, to find this letter in substitute of me, but I do this for your own good. I do not want you to rely on me, a scientist with inadequate knowledge, to make the antidote. Because it likely would take me forever. I will be going, and I would not research anymore on this matter. I will live my life over again, and I will forget you. Please know that Haibara Ai never existed, or did Miyano Shiho. I do not want to turn back, and there is no reason for me staying there. Please excuse my selfishness. Thank you for being my first friend, and I should say my best friend, until everything became black for you. Say bye to Mitsuhiko, Ayumi, and Genta for me. Especially Mitsuhiko; he is a sweet boy.

A distant woman that you should forget."

Kudo turned frantic. What could he do now to turn back? Haibara doesn't need to worry about turning back because she doesn't want to, he _needs _to. He has a whole life waiting for him to come back. A family, friends, and mostly, Ran. What could he do now? No more Haibara.

'Calm down, Shinichi! First of all, let's consider what option I could have. The best way is for Haibara to come back. But where can I find her? The world is so big, and she is a grain of sand. And even if I find her, will she be willing to come back? The second choice is that---he couldn't think about it. How could he? How could he think about leaving Ran to go find an antidote. But how could he ever reach her in this life, this form? But leaving would mean at least a year or more! But staying her would only mean as a little brother. Conan is _not _Shinichi, at least not in Ran's eyes. But he already let her waited for five years. What is one or two years compared to five years?' That ended his thought. He did not have any other buts to counter this one. What is one or two years compared to five years? And that is when he decided. He knew what he could chose. He did not want to be a little brother, not Conan, because Conan is not Shinichi. He just wanted to be, well, Shinichi. 

He picked up the phone and dialed to somewhere in America. "America, I might as well try." That was when the red string broke, though he doesn't know it; it broke somewhere, hidden deep in his heart.

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Oh dear readers who managed to read through my figurative speech and pretty boring plot, I plea you to acknowledge that my class is reading Charles Dickens in English, and even more worse, Great Expectations. So maybe I do have the taste of description and Dickens in my story, but I really will try to tell you the plot I want to show sooner. And please, one more thing, critique, critique, critique! I don't even care if you criticize. If I did bad, tell me where and if I did good, tell me where.


	2. Home

"Home"

It was a foggy day, a foggy day indeed. After seeing Ran cry for losing "Conan", after sitting on the plane for a day, after seeing all those people staring at the "little boy" on the plane by himself, and now waiting for his parents to pick him up from the airport, how could have the a brighter sunny day instead of a foggy misty weather helped him feel better? Shinichi sighed. But he turned his thoughts into seeing his parents, turning back into himself, and finally going back with Ran.

"Conan," whispered Yukiko genteelly. Shinichi turned quickly around and saw his mother already there, waiting for him. Her usually giggly smiling face is gone, and he can see worry and fear in her face. She probably knew there was something wrong about her son's sudden wish to return. Behind her stood her husband, Yusaku, also having a very concerned face. They never saw their son face a challenge he cannot handle.

"Let's go home." said Shinichi. 'Home, how long did I not have a home, a real home?' He cannot say. All these many years, home equals the detective agency where he and Ran spent many happy times together, where Ran would be his sister. Ran is not his sister, far from it, but during that time, she really was.

Yusaku and Yukiko took their son into their car, which Shinichi had no heart to notice or observe like his usual self. And when Yusaku drove their son to their home, everyone remained silent. Everyone is afraid that if they say something, it would get somebody else upset. Anyways, what could Yukiko or Yusako say? "Hey, Shinichi! Did you and Ran break up?" And what could Shinichi say? "Mom and dad, I came to America to get the antidote because the scientist who was suppose to make my antidote suddenly went away because I fought with her?" This whole time, Shinichi just looked through the window at the fog an dream that he can see Ran's face in it.

When they arrived "home," the couple took their son into his new room and put his valises there. Shinichi looked around, and saw a bed, a closet, a drawer, a table, a phone that had a different number than the Kudo phone because it is for the Edogawa family, and what captures his eyes were the two big windows where he could see the back yard. He looked outside and to his amazement, there were cherry blossom trees in the back yard. His memory could not help but remind him of the time he and Ran went to see the cherry blossoms. Another sigh withdrew from him.

"Shinichi," pursued Yukiko, "you love these blossoms? Me too! They were in our backyard since we moved here. We don't know anything about flowers, but the blossoms still grow well. Sometimes, it is best to leave something alone, and it will flourish just as well." But Shinichi was not convinced that if he just lets the red thread stretch, it will not thin and break.

Yusaku then said, "Shinichi, tomorrow, I will take you to some of the best scientists and doctors. They will get the antidote, don't worry. And you'll be back in Japan in no time! Now, it is time for you to rest and take a nap. That plane trip must be long. I'll call you down for dinner." Yusaku closed the door after himself and Yukiko.

The phone in his room rang, and he quickly picked it up.

"Hello? Is this Ran-nee-chan?" How he hated that abhorrent way of calling Ran.

"Conan?" said Ran's voice through the phone. "How did you know it was me?" Oh! It is so hard to figure out! There is a special phone just for calling the Edogawa!

"Who would care for me so much to call me as soon as I arrive?"

"You don't know how lonely I am, Conan. With you gone, I really don't have any people around except for father, but he can hardly have a normal conversation with me because he is drunk most of the time. My father and mother are just not getting along. What kind of home do I have? No you, no mother, a drunk father, no Shinichi…"

"You must be really missing Shinichi-nii-chan. Your sad and hopeful voice tells me. You always talk like than when you think of him. Don't cry."

"How do you know I am crying?" said Ran difficultly, trying to stop a sob. "Maybe I just caught a cold like you always do."

"I know because I know you very well, too well. What could you hide from me? Today for you is Tuesday, and it is almost time for karate lessons for you. Don't be late."

"Oh Conan! You're right, you know me too well." This time, she stopped trying to hide her tears, and let Conan hear them. "Conan, you don't know. First, Shinichi just goes away like this and now you go away. I don't even know how much of this I can take before I totally collapse. I don't know how much longer I can hold on, waiting for him."

"Crying will not get him back, or do any good. Plus, it really hurts him if you cry." said Conan, trying to restrain his own tears. How he wanted to cry along with her, and let his sorrow out!

"Conan, you must think I am really stupid. Waiting for someone I am hardly close to, just waiting here, while he's out there living his own life, going on this case and that case. I even tell myself to forget him, but I can't. But Conan, do you think I should just let go already? Do you think it is best to go along with Araide? Do you think it would be best to just try one of the men Sonoko recommend? Maybe I'll fall in love again, to a different person, and live a happy life. Don't you think so?"

Shinichi didn't know what to say. He wanted Ran to be happy, really happy. But, he, he was also a very selfish person. He could not let Ran go.

"Ran, just do what you think would make you happier. I think you should forget Shinichi. He's a selfish, untrustworthy person. He wouldn't want you to love somebody else, but he knows that you are waiting too long. He said that he will be back, but he isn't back. Not for six years, and maybe not forever. He is too busy with his stupid cases and forgets all about you." Ran was getting really frightened. Conan's voice just got louder and louder, almost screaming. She was scared. Conan is too much like Shinichi, too hard to understand. This was almost like Shinichi telling her to forget himself. This was Conan becoming Shinichi. "Ran-nee-chan, did I scare you?" returned the once again Conan voice. "Don't worry, I am okay. I'm just too angry at him. How could he do that to you? Okay, you're probably already 5 minutes late. Bye!" and he hung up. The line went dead. All Ran could hear was her heart pounding in her chest and the cold beep of the merciless dial tone.

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Another boring chapter in the book of Bluegirl11375! Next chapter: The action begins: a bad, horrible news.


	3. Dead

Dead

A brown-haired girl, with her head down walking around the busy park, was thinking intently about a conversation a week ago on the phone. Many children played their regular games of tag, Frisbee, hide-and-seek, while their parents were busy trying to get their children to stand still for pictures, and seniors chitchatting with other seniors. But she had no heart to notice the bright lovely weather. How could she? How could anyone who has gone through the same as her notice the bright day?

"I'm waiting for someone I am hardly close to, just waiting here, while he's out there living his own life…I don't know how much longer I can hold on, waiting for him…Maybe I'll fall in love again, to a different person, and live a happy life…"

"He said that he will be back, but he isn't back. Not for six years, and maybe not forever."

Ran tried to shake these thoughts out of her head. "No, I did not wait these years for nothing." But no matter how hard she tried, her mind dwelled on the thought that Shinichi might never come back, that after a few more years, Shinichi will be far out of her mind, that she will forget him, and move on to her life, with a caring husband, with adorable children. She sighed, and told herself sighing would help her. That even made it worse, knowing that she cannot do the things she should do and the things that she can do would not do anything. She could not help but feel useless, hopeless, carrying memories that she should have dropped many years ago. She could not help but cry as she walked on, biting her lips, saying to herself that she should stop crying for him.

Not so far away as Araide watched his grandmother talk to her friends, he thought about his life as well. No one would call him an orphan, considering that most orphans are people such as Oliver Twist and Pip, who can barely support themselves while he was an adult, old enough to get married and have children, who has a job and many certificates of this achievement and this graduation. But deep inside, he cannot deny that he was an orphan. His father "murdered" his mother and his mother's friend, or his stepmother murdered his father. And now, what family member was not dead or in jail except his grandmother? But like Pip, who has hope to become a gentleman, he himself did have a hope for something. Of course, many years ago he had wanted to become a great doctor who helps many people in need, but after achieving his dream, what else could he have hoped to do but really having a great family? And who else would substitute for Mouri Ran, who he has waited for six years? But how could he ever hope to gain her love? He sighed, knowing that sighing would not do him any good. "Oh well! At least the sun is shining." he thought as he looked up. "Just last week, there's all that rain and fog. At least the weather is getting clearer. Maybe everything will be okay for me."

Araide got up from the green bench and walked on the park trail, going around the park as he cheered himself up, like many times over the last six years. And because neither of them were really paying attention to where they were walking, they surprised each other by colliding straight into each other. Araide quickly stopped Ran by falling by taking her by the waist and hand to support her. Ran was too dazzled to say anything. First, she was thinking about Shinichi, and not looking where she was going. Second, the collision was so surprising that she could not react. And third, when someone caught her, she really wished that he was Shinichi, but looked up to see someone else. Ran was too dazzled to even blush like her regular self, and just stared into her holder's eyes, trying to see someone else. But Araide quickly was out of his thought and reacted quickly to everything. He knew that he should let go quickly, but two reasons stopped him from letting go. He knew that Ran was going to fall if he lets go since she was still blank and that he was never this close to her.

And finally after Ran firmly realized that this is Araide, not Shinichi, she quickly stood up and said sorry. "I'm so sorry. I was just thinking about something and not really paying attention so I bumped into you. Next time I will be careful."

"No, really, it is my fault that I also wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Sorry, Miss. Ran."

"No, just call me Ran. We're pretty good friends, aren't we?" said Ran with a smile, even more beautiful than usual, brightened in the sun. But Araide also knew that sad part about that beautiful smile: it was fake.

"Long time no see, Ran. So, in these years, what are you up to?"

"I really don't know. Just being a professional karate fighter, I guess. So what are you doing, great doctor?" said Ran in a teasing kind of way.

"Well, just trying to save people, like I have always wanted."

"I remember that you said that while you said that detectives solve who is the murderer, you try to stop the murders from happening. I wonder what my detective friend would say to that."

"Who is your detective friend?"

"Kudo, you know, the person who became the Black Knight instead of you in the school play."

"Oh yes! That Kudo! You know, I was really angry that Kudo for taking my place. And I tried really hard to become the Black Knight. But I guess just was one step before me." Yes, Kudo Shinichi did steal Araide's position in the play, but both Ran and Araide knew what he was hinting at. Kudo Shinichi stole her.

"Anyway, I never knew how he stopped you from going on stage. Can you tell me now?" asked Ran.

Araide's face started to blush. "No, that is too embarrassing for me to say."

"Oh please?" asked Ran as she put on a cute sad face that would make anyone tell his secret.

"Oh all right! You see, I got a phone call backstage. It is in the voice of my grandmother. She said that I should come home quickly because our house caught on fire, and many firefighters were hurt putting out our fire, and want me to help them. So I ran home, to see our home safely standing there. My grandmother said that she made no phone calls at all that day. And when I hurried back to school, I see Kudo standing on stage." Ran could not hide her laughter. She giggled openly. Araide's displeased face made her giggle more. Who else could have helped Shinichi but Conan, with his voice-changing bowtie? She told him that, and he laughed with her.

"Ran, I have so much to tell you about these years. Want to go to dinner with me?" asked Araide. Ran, hearing this, quickly realized what was happening and quickly objected. The letdown Araide sat back on his bench as he saw Ran walk home, deeper in thought as he went back into his thoughts himself.

A blond woman put a package into the mailbox. "Ran, forgive me. This is for your own good. You have waited to long. It is time to stop waiting."

And a month later, Kudo Shinichi received mail from Japan. Neither from Ran nor any of his kiddy friends, but from Ran's mother. "What does that lawyer want with me now?" It was titled to Kudo Shinichi, not Edogawa Conan. Like she would write to a kid! He opened the mail to see two photos and a letter. As he looked at the first photo, his eyes widened like seeing evidence of a murder, or even seeing the carcass of the victim itself. It is Araide holding Ran by the hand and waist as they stared into each other's eyes. "No, I am not seeing what I think I am." He quickly looked at the other picture to see Ran and Araide giggling together, closer than seeing them when he was Conan. He quickly opened the letter, which said:

Dear Mr. Kudo,

I hope you are well solving your mysteries. I know that Ran is very well waiting for you, never even thinking about going out with any other man and putting only the thoughts of you coming back into her head.

But that has changed, you see. She no longer belongs to you. She has forgotten about you, and if you don't want yourself to be heartbroken, forget her. I hope that you will do what is best for yourself and her. 

Sincerely,

Ran's mother.

And just so easily, Kudo Shinichi's heart is dead.

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Well, so much for action! Well, like I have said, criticizing is welcomed, and so is praises. Just tell me why and how.


	4. The Past Returns

People who do not know Shiho's sister's name, her name is Miyano Akemi. She will play a big part in this fiction. You probably did not expect me to start on about Shuichi, but later, I will link the three parts together (one about Conan and Ran and another about Shuichi and Akemi, and another about Shuichi and Ai)… you'll see. 

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The Past Returns

Every worker was surprised at the "little" girl that came in. Carrying a little backpack, and with a look of experience and maturity in the young face, Haibara Ai went into the café on that snowy day. The only person in the store who did not look up is a man all dressed in black. And he is the only one who actually comes to a café in such a horrible weather. Ai observed that person with the nonchalance attitude, and made sure that he was not from the Black Organization.

The waiter comes and asked her if she wanted some hot chocolate. Ai did not bother to look up and told the waiter that she would like some pure coffee, without any milk or sugar. When Ai said this, the man suddenly looked up at Ai and stared at her in amazement and alertness. His indifference disappeared and seemed so alarmed at that "cup of pure coffee."

"Akemi, is that…you?" whispered the man in fear.

*****

It was a few years ago on that also snowy day in the same building, same café. Shuichi, a FBI member not dressed in the mysterious black what everyone imagines, but dressed in a normal blue shirt and khaki pants. He was sent there to investigate about the Black Organization. The café was reported to be a place where the members meet. He has suspected that the meetings were help upstairs while the café downstairs keep the many people coming in and going out untraceable.

As Shuichi was reading the newspaper, the door opened and a breeze of snow blew in. He looked up to see a blond hair girl with large circle glass and cute freckles dressed in a high school uniform came in carrying a school backpack. Shuichi thought that she could not be someone in the Black Organization, but dismissed the idea since everyone is a suspect. The FBI did not send him if it did not think he was the best officer it had. Usually, Jodie, his partner, would also be with him; but less people means less suspicion, and this is an intense case. Anyway, he was there to do is just observe the café and the people who go in and out and etcetera. The FBI is not really going to do much action until everything is confirmed.

"A cup of pure coffee without any milk or sugar." said a feminine voice.

Shuichi looked around and saw the blond girl. Immediately, he was already suspecting. Girls her age cannot stand the bitterness of the pure coffee. She was probably some woman in disguise as a high-school student. But inevitably, she is at the most twenty from what Shuichi could determine after chasing people in disguises from six years. Well, he did became famous for being the youngest police officer (and the best police officer) in America at the age of 15, and the FBI invited him. He was already 21 years old that year when he went into the café and saw Miyano Akemi.

After mental notes about the people who came, he went to pay for his coffee (which he also likes pure) and dump it out. He was too busy to see where he was going when he was thinking about the suspects and came into another person who also was not looking. Shuichi, who still has almost a full cup of coffee left, dumped the whole cup on Miyano Akemi's clothes, leaving a big, dark stain on her uniform.

"I am sorry, Miss." said Shuichi quickly, wiping off the coffee for her with the napkins he had.

"No, no. Just thinking too much about my school exams to notice where I was going. Anyway, I'm sure that I could buy another school uniform." said the girl. "Why, mister, I have never seen you in this coffee shop before. Is this your first time here?"

"Yes. You see, I just bought a newspaper and wanted to read it in a quiet place when the snow started to fall. And I was just walking past this café."

"Oh, I see. You see, I love to come to this café where I hardly recognize anyone so I can study for tests. I was having some problems about math. Could you help me?" asked the girl politely.

Shuichi would definitely refused if Jodie asked him. But of course, Jodie never does need help from him. He would have refused too. But because it would be very suspicious if he did not, he just said that he was very happy to. So there they were, talking about this math problem and that. But Shuichi forgot how they started to talk about pure coffee, how it is better than coffee with a lot of sugar and milk, how the bitterness is welcoming. Then, they started to talk about how they both despise the sugary sodas, and then to how they both would like everything the hard way. As you would have guessed, Akemi knew how to do the math problem, but she had to get close to him, the newcomer to make sure he was not some kind of spy. Akemi convinced herself that such a nice person could not be a spy.

They knew that they did not ask for the other's name, but they do not want to. Shuichi was afraid that if he did know her name, he would research it on the FBI database and find her one of the Black Organization's members. Then this girl, who probably was tricked by the Organization, would forever have a name with crime that cannot be erased. And Akemi knew that if she knew his name and the Black Organization find his name one of the members of the FBI, the Black Organization's next target would be him. She did not want him to be like one of the people she had seen Gin kill, and she would be more afraid that one day, she had to kill him. But they were even more afraid, that if the other knew his/her name and find out where each other is from, then they could never have any precious time like this again.

*****

"Akemi, you have to leave the Black Organization." pleaded Shuichi. "Come with me. I'll leave the FBI also. We could be happy with our peaceful lives and don't have to be cautious every time we meet like we are wrong by falling in love."

"No, Shuichi. You don't understand. I cannot leave the organization." said Akemi, with tears. "You don't understand. I want to go with you, but many things are out of our control."

"What do you mean? Why can't you leave?" asked Shuichi.

No matter how intense the conversation got, they had to remain quiet. They do not know who is spying on them, from the Black Organization, or from the FBI.

"I never told you before, but I have to now." Akemi took a deep breath and suppressed her sobs. "I have a younger sister in the Organization. I don't know what will happen to her if I leave."

"What! A sister? Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"What is there to tell? Whose fault is it that she is in the organization? Isn't it mine? Didn't I agree to be in the Organization, even though I knew their actions?" Akemi broke into cries again on Shuichi's shoulder.

"No, it's not your fault. You had to, to save both you and your sister's life. You did not have any choice." comforted Shuichi.

"If there is one thing I have to do, is not to escape, but get my sister Miyano Shiho out of there. I know that the Organization will not do anything to her because she is the Organization's brain. You don't know how smart she is, and how many deadly poisons she could make that kills people in a second without leaving any traces of the poison. If she stays there, there's not a chance that someone will come to rescue her. How many people like you do I meet in a lifetime? If you rescue me and take me away, I have to take my sister away from the Organization."

*****

Tears rolled down Shuichi's face as he stared at Haibara Ai, or Miyano Shiho, or the sister of Miyano Akemi, who Akemi died for. There was a deep fire of hatred in Shuichi's heart because it was _she, _who Akemi died for. It was _she, _who Akemi would not leave the Organization for. It was _she, _who made him suffer these eight years without Akemi, each day like a living hell. But he still remembered Akemi's line word by word: "If there is one thing I have to do, is not to escape, but get my sister Miyano Shiho out of there." He already knew that Miyano Shiho became Haibara Ai, and in the beginning, he spied on her to make sure she was all right. After seeing Kudo Shinichi as Edogawa Conan protecting her, he thought she would be fine, and went to suffer. And now, there Shiho was, and…she looked so much like Akemi.

He knew that he had to protect her, because she was alone without protection and because that is Akemi's last wish.

*****

A dry, maniacal, cold, making-your-blood-cold laugh. "I can't believe how Kudo Shinichi fell for that trick. He actually believes that Eri sent that letter and the photos. Step one is easier than I thought. After the separation between Ran and the detective, we can capture the lady without fearing the man interfering and use the lady to threaten the man. Kudo Shinichi is not as smart as you have thought, Gin."

"He's tougher than you think, Vermouth, or he would not have the ability to stay hidden from the Organization for seven years as Edogawa Conan."

"Oh Gin… You just won't admit that you are wrong." replied the cold voice. Vermouth was tilting the chair she was sitting on, and observed Gin, standing on the dust on the floor of the dark warehouse.

"How is it with Sherry? Did you find her?"

"We suspect that she is going where her sister once went." replied Vermouth.

"That damn Shuichi! If he was there, then Akemi wouldn't leave!" cursed Gin.

"Why do you care about _her _so much. I mean Akemi." asked Vermouth.

"Don't get me wrong. If she didn't leave, then we wouldn't be so worried right now on how quick Sherry could developed the antidote. I know she left the detective, but I'm sure she is still working on the antidote. But if our plan works out correctly, Sherry would stay out of this until after we have finished the detective and that lady. Then finishing their families won't be so hard."

"Yes. The next step: the kidnap of the poor fair lady from her black knight." Another dry, maniacal, cold, making-your-blood-cold laugh.

*****

Ran was getting worried. It has been half an year before Shinichi called her. What if something happened to him? She dismissed all her worries and finally had the courage to call him. One beep. Two beeps. Three beeps. Four beeps. Someone picked up.

"Hello?" It was Shinichi's voice. He was all right and he still did not call.

"Are you trying to forget me or what! Not calling for so long!" shouted Ran. She thought it was going to be another of those teasing conversations and the long bickering that she actually enjoyed. But Ran did not know that Shinichi was just what she said, "trying to forget her."

"Well, you do have to live in with your life, right? There's no point just waiting there for me when you should be having the fun with someone else that you love." Ran was frightened. This was not one of the fun conversations. This was dead serious. Shinichi changed so that in his voice, Ran could tell how he changed; but she could not tell how he had changed.

"Shinichi? Are you all right?" asked Ran.

"Why am I not all right?" Shinichi gripped himself. He knew that some day, this would happen, and why not let it happen now? "After you have totally abandoned the thought of waiting for me, after you flirted with Araide, after you have totally betrayed me."

"What! Shinichi, no, don't be mistaken. That day in the park-"

"Yes, that day in the park, he held you and you looked into his eyes and he looked into yours. Yes, a fantasy of a happy fairy tale ending, when the princess lived happily ever after with her prince while her former friend was shunned away." Shinichi stopped, and he could hear Ran sobbing and the drops of tears dripping on the table. He could see her eyes, sparkling, and hurt. He could feel both of the pain in their hearts. But he had to do this. Eri was right; he was just stopping Ran from living a happy life with Araide. She already fell for him; yes, she already did.

"Shinichi, I can't believe you would say this to me. Let's say that we have never met and talked after you deserted me at Tropical Island, because I don't want the memories from our childhood to be ruined." With this, the phone was slammed back, and Ran ran back into her room to cry on the pillow. Shinichi also cried, but without any noise at all; the tears just fell. He did not have enough heart left to sob. And as he looked outside, the world was filled with white flakes coming down. That day was a somber day.

________________________________________________________________________  
I got an idea long ago that Akemi and Shuichi fell in love, and that is how Akemi decided to want to leave the Black Organization. I decided to combine the two ideas, or Ran finally deciding to go on, and the Akemi idea into one. There are two big twists in this chapter, I know. One is that Eri did not send the letter but Vermouth did, contrary to what others thought how odd it is that Eri would be that mean. Another twist is that the Akemi/Shuichi story. Something that no one would except. And therefore, Shuichi's "past returns." And a hint to what is coming up, the past maybe replayed.


	5. Black Cat

Dear fellow readers (if there are any), I do not feel encouraged enough to go on writing. Please support me by reviewing, or I would feel so bad about this fan fiction I would stop writing it.

Black Cat

It was a sunny day after the snow storm, with many children building snowmen in the park. There, Sonoko and Ran walked along the path.

"Matako, he just won another tournament! His face must be filled with band-aids. I hope he is all right. Anyway, how is Shinichi getting along? Is he coming back anytime soon?" asked Sonoko, after she has blabbered Makato-this and Makato-that.

"Oh, I don't think he will come back very soon. You know, he's busy and all that." said Ran as casually as she could.

"Ran, why don't you just find somebody else? There's no point trying to wait, is there?"

"You're right, Sonoko. There's no point. I should move on." said Ran.

Sonoko stared at Ran, worried. Whenever she talked about forgetting Shinichi, Ran always refused to listen. And know, Ran actually agreed? "Ran, are you all right?" asked Sonoko.

"Why am I not all right? The snow storm is over, everything is sunny. The world is shining, and children are having the time of their lives. Everything is so fine. Why should I overlook this happiness by remembering the past? You see, I thought it over, and I have decided to try the next man who asks me out."

Sonoko brightened up, not aware that Ran did not. "Oh! I know you will get over it! Do you want…" continued Sonoko.

But Ran was too depressed to even try to listen. Shinichi thought she actually…liked Araide. Of course, she could just explain to him everything, how she fell and Araide caught her. But if someone that close to her, who knew her this much could actually say that- it is just too much.

"Ran, look! It's Araide!" said Sonoko.

"Hi, Miss. Ran and Sonoko. Are you in the park to just walk around and look at the beautiful snow? I actually heard that it snowed yesterday not only in Japan but also in New York. That must be much of a coincidence!" said Araide.

"Yes, it must be." muttered Ran. "Shinichi must have experienced the snow as well as I did."

"Ran?" asked Araide. "Are you all right?"

"Of course I am!" said a brighter voice of Ran. "I just want to know if you want to go to Tropical Island with me Saturday, Araide. Please?"

Araide was stunned. All this time, she rejected him, and now, she asked him to go somewhere together? "Oh--okay?"

"Is that a question or an answer?" teased Ran.

"Okay." said Araide firmly.

"Oh, Ran! I am so happy for you." said Sonoko. "You finally have a date!" Araide went red, but not Ran.

"So, Akemi," said a cold voice. "What is that man's name then, if you cannot tell me his job, or his birthday, or any important information that we need to confirm if he is a police officer or not?"

"I'm sorry Gin. I don't know." said Akemi.

"You're useless! I have sent you to go investigate him, and you did not even ask for his name!" Gin paused after reprimanding her, and the silence went on for a long time. Gin was thinking how to punish her, she knew. "Akemi, Akemi. Go find out his name, at least, or don't even think about coming back."

"Yes, sir." said Akemi. Gin's shadow swept across the floor and disappeared. "No. I am a cold blooded killer, a member of an organization that killed mercilessly. I do not fall in love. I do not know love." And with this, Akemi went to the café.

Shuichi went again to the café tomorrow. He did not know why, but his heart thumped out of his chest to just think about meeting that girl with the cute freckles again. He knew that he had to focus on his job, but he cannot help going there hoping to meet her. He still did not know her name or anything, but he did not want to. Going into the café with another newspaper, he looked around and saw the girl waving at him. He went over.

"Hi again!" said Shuichi. "So was the math test easy now?"

"I did really well, thanks to you, mister." said Akemi. "Do you want to sit with me, and we could chat again?"

"Sure." Shuichi sat down next to the girl. He did not notice last time because of the sharp smell of the coffee, but this time, she has a weird smell on her body, but a pretty nice smell. "Did you spray any perfume? You have this weird smell on you." said Shuichi.

"Oh, you mean this?" said the girl as she pulled out a packet that was sewn with gray, black, and white yarn in the shape of a kitten. It gave off the scent. "I think my mother put this on me when I was an infant. I don't like the rainbow colors a lot, but prefer just black and white."

"You must really like cats, right? Your mother must be really good with the needle."

"I really don't know. My mother and father died when I was small, and I was raised by my foster father."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay mister. I don't remember them anyway, so there's nothing to be sorry about." said Akemi with a smile. "Anyway, I still haven't asked for your name. My name is Miyano Akemi."

"Just call me Shuichi."

"Jodie!"

"Yes, Shuichi?" said Jodie, while typing on the computer back at the office.

"Sorry to bother you, but could you please research someone for me?"

"What name?"

"Miyano Akemi."

"His name is Shuichi."

"Shuichi, huh?" Vermouth typed the name on the computer, and she clicked on the only file that came up. "Gin, Shuichi is from the FBI." Vermouth said calmly. "He has actually interfered with our plans when he was a cop at the age of 15. Later, he was invited to the FBI. His partner is Jodie, who has also been a tough member of the FBI as well."

Akemi first was startled, and then calmed herself. "I do not know love or friendship. The only thing real is hate."

"So Akemi. It looks like your friend is asking for trouble. You know what to do." said Gin, as he tossed her a gun from his pocket. It made a cling as it fell to the floor in front of Akemi. "Don't fail me again."

"Shuichi, don't go! You know she's a member. She doesn't have a good heart in the first place. Now that she knows who you are, a member of the FBI, and she writes a letter and asks you to go to meet her, and you actually do?!"

"No, Jodie. I have to go. Akemi isn't what you think. She's different from the other criminals I have met." said Shuichi as took his coat from the rack and began to put it on.

"What is wrong with you? You never failed to be cautious. Please, if you want to go, at least take me with you." begged Jodie as she tugged on Shuichi's arm.

"Jodie, if I take you, everything is going to go wrong. If she realize that I trust her that much as to not even take my partner, she will be moved. She will quit the organization and come with me. Please, Jodie, don't follow me. I would realize if you do." Shuichi gave Jodie one last look before he went out of the door.

"Yes, I know you could." whispered Jodie to herself. "But you couldn't ever know my heart."

It was a dark night. The moon and stars were all hidden by the clouds. A man dressed in a black coat turned into the dark street, an abandoned street. That was where they will meet, on the roof of that abandoned apartment building. The man even brought a present for the girl. He saw that when he passed by the jewelry store: a black necklace with a black cat on the end. Most girls would think of it as a sign of bad luck, or a bad present that they will never wear, but Shuichi knew that Akemi would love it; she is not like other girls.

"Akemi…you're here."

"Hello?"

"Kudo! What are you doing to Ran! She's going to be married to Araide in another month! She has gone completely cuckoo this month. What happened to you guys!?"

"Hattori, let it go. We don't have enough luck to be together this lifetime. I can't make her wait forever for me, can I?"

"But if you let go for this one second, you are giving up for your whole life. Think about this correctly, Kudo."


	6. We Will Meet Again

We Will Meet Again

"Akemi, you're here," said Shuichi, more to himself than to her.

"Yes, Shuichi, I'm here." Akemi was no longer that high school girl. No more glasses or freckles. Her hair was let down to her shoulders in a wave of brown. She was dressed in black, wearing a pair of sunglasses. Even her voice was more mature and deep.

"Akemi," Shuichi whispered in awe. This was the real Akemi, the Akemi that was hidden underneath the costume. He knew about her identity, but at least she was flesh and blood. But how could she be so cold, so dark? He could not help but say out loud, "Who are you? You're not the Akemi I know."

"No, I'm not that cute Akemi with the freckles," said Akemi as she took off her sunglasses. "You would wish you never know me if you know who I truly am."

"I've never expected the cute Akemi with the freckles, but I've expected the Akemi who would at least have the tiniest scintilla of warmth in her eyes, not the frozen Akemi."

Yes, he knew already. Akemi confirmed that. That's even better. At least she can be captured by the police than to be tortured under the Organization.

"So you know who I am. You know where I come from. I'm a cold-blooded, frozen killer who would kill you if I have the chance. I would even kill the whole world and not be one bit sorry. Then why meet me here? Perhaps you have some friends around, waiting to trap me. Then come right now. Isn't this the right time—me, here, empty handed?"

"Do you believe I would disclose you?" Shuichi spoke this so sorrowfully. Akemi grasped a breath.

After a while, she replied, "You are a police. I am a bandit. Why wouldn't you disclose me?"

Shuichi quickly shouted, "Because you are a human, and I am a human as well. Akemi, I love you."

Akemi looked down at the ground. She wanted to a cup of coffee right then—the bitter taste would drown out her tears right there. Yes, her tears that speckled the ground she was standing on. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he was a police and she was a murderer. It wasn't fair that she could never be together with him. Either she or he will have to die. And Shiho--

In her determined voice, as she looked back up and shook away her tears, Akemi said, "But I'm sorry, I do not know love. I could not possibly know love."

"Akemi, you love me. You know you do, or you won't be crying."

"I'm not crying!" Akemi shouted, only to bring up more tears.

"Akemi, run away from the organization. Start a new life with me." Said Shuichi as took her in his arms. Akemi rested her head and cried on his shoulder. She can't.

If she left, Shiho would be dead immediately, she would be tracked down, and Shuichi would be killed as well along with her. Right now, either Shuichi or herself will die, and if the Organization find out this, both of them will. So why not let one die instead of two?

Akemi slowly reached into her bag for that gun that she prepared for him. There was a new target for that gun now. Only her death could save him. If the Organization heard of her death, it would assume that Shuichi killed her. Quickly, she drew it to her chest.

She only heard Shuichi shout her name, and three gun shots. Soon, she only saw Shuichi.

"Why, Akemi, why? Why not just run away with me?" Shuichi was in tears.

Akemi smiled. "You already know the answer to that question. You're too smart to not know that one of us will have to die. The power of the Organization is too mighty, " whispered Akemi. "But also, there's another reason why. If I run from the Organization, who will take care of Shiho, my sister in the Organization? What prevents the Organization from killing her?"

"Akemi, stop talking, I'm going to get you to a hospital." Said Shuichi as he wrapped his coat around her.

"Don't try. I know the bullet did not go through my lung as I planned, but it is enough to kill me. First listen to me."

"No Akemi. Even if I die, I will let you live."

"But what about my sister? Would you let her die?" Shuichi froze. Akemi continued. "My sister is an innocent girl who creates poisons without knowing what she is doing. I'd rather let her create poisons for the Organizations and let her lead her innocent life than to bring her into the reality of the Organization. The last thing I beg of you: if you promise me this, I will die happily. Take care of her for me."

"Don't worry, Akemi, I will."

"Now, go. For my sister, for me, please go," begged the dying Akemi.

Shuichi did not know what to do. He knew it was impossible to try to save Akemi. Three gun shots into the chest? But he had to at least try, and he would have, but to think that for his own self, he would risk the life of an innocent girl who has been in the Organization since her birth, living in hell?

Shuichi took off his jacket from Akemi, stood up, and turned around, walking away without turning his back.

He only heard a weak "thank you," and then stopped. Still without turning around, he said, "We _will_ meet again, Akemi. I know it." And then, he walked down, never stopping again.

Somebody was following her. Ai sensed it already as she walked down the lonely streets of dark Tokyo. It was two am in the morning. For the last few the days, the Organization didn't seem to have noticed her, but now, could they have possibly--? Ai shuddered. This was why she went away—so she would not endanger Kudo or Agasa. She wanted to find a quite place to work, and she did, by making up an identity and renting an apartment using that identity, working on that antidote since. But now—could her few days of peace be disturbed by the Organization?

There was no use running. If the Organization discovered her already, there was no point in running. She stopped. She could sense the person hiding somewhere, waiting for her to move again. Ai turned around, and said, "You could come out now."

A man came out of the shadows of a building from an alleyway. A man in black, but somehow, Ai knew, he wasn't from the Organization.

"Shiho, it's about time you go see your sister."

End Chapter 6

You'll understand what Shuichi means by "seeing your sister" by next chapter. Also by next chapter, you will see the story of Shinichi and Ran and the rest of the story of Shuichi and Akemi revealed.

Next chapter: Last Wish Fufilled


	7. Tomb

Yup, long time no update. Didn't have time, and no encouragement either!  I think I will be finished soon. The story of Akemi is over, so the focus is on Shinichi, Ai, Shuichi, and Ran.

Tomb

Ai read the engravings on the tomb:

_Miyano Akemi,_

_A girl who never lived,_

_Who never died._

_We Will Meet Again_

"You stole my sister's body?" Ai asked the tall man standing beside her.

"No, I took it away from the police. I'm a FBI member," replied Shuichi.

"How do you know my sister?"

"I guess your sister did not tell you about me. That isn't surprising. She wanted everything for you. Why would she ruin your innocence and tell you about me and her plans for you?" replied Shuichi.

"How do you know my real name and my identity? How do you know that Miyano Akemi is my sister? Who are _you_?" asked Ai.

"I'm your protector, the protector your sister sent. It began one day in the café, from a cup of pure, black coffee…

…_Akemi lay on the ground, watching the shadow of Shuichi disappear. 'Now, I can die knowing that Shiho will be all right.' She took out the cat of yarn out of her pocket. 'I never got the chance to give it to Shiho. It was the only thing we have from our parents.' She threw the cat as far as she could to a little corner. 'At least I can save it from being dumped into the sea.' She closed her eyes and felt the blood slowly flowing out of her chest._

_Suddenly a voice came out: "Akemi, Akemi: you failed again. How could you fall in love with a police?"_

_Without opening her eyes, Akemi replied, "So you know that I'm in love all along. Yes, I did fail. I couldn't kill him. You could do whatever you want with me, Gin."_

"_No, no. How could I kill such a sweet Akemi? The Boss still has plans for you."_

"_But I'm dying, Gin. What else could I do?" asked Akemi._

"_You're not going to die if the Organization could help it," said Gin as he picked her up like luggage and took her away._

"_Is Miyano Akemi to be used as a bait to bait Shuichi after Dr. Gin revives me?" asked Akemi in a bitter, trenchant tone._

"_No, the doctors at the Organization will. We have a bank to rob. You will live to perform your duty for the Organization."_

"_That isn't my duty. My duty is to lead my own life."_

"_You don't have a life. Your life is the Organization's. Ever since your parents died, the Organization raised you up. You do what the Organization says."_

"_I refuse," replied Akemi, determined._

"_You don't have choice. You refuse and I will leave you here to die."_

"_Then leave me here to die," replied Akemi, sharply._

"_Would you want your sister to die," asked Gin._

_Akemi shuddered. 'Yes, there's still my sister. But how could I continue to work for the Organization?_

"_I do my last duty, and you let me and my sister go."_

"_Deal," replied Gin. _

"_Everyone has a duty, Shiho."_

"_What is my duty, sister?"_

"_To be happy; to be happy in a world of light."_

"_And what is yours?"_

"_To help you complete yours."_

Ai felt tears trickling down her face. Her sister died, not even for herself, but for her. She'd abandoned her life of love and hope to save a life of darkness.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? WHY?" yelled Ai.

"Because your sister wouldn't want me to. But I can't stand it anymore. I can't stand it that she gave her life for you, but you're here trying to run away, when you should be battling the Organization as she did!"

Shuichi felt all the years of suppression coming back to him. He remembered finding about Akemi's death, finding her body. He felt her hair, her face, and most of all what he loved, her eyes that were no longer open and never will be. But he didn't cry. He couldn't cry, for some reason. From then on, his face was always blank, devoid of any emotion. He hardly even talked.

Also from that day on, Shuichi has never lived. He has spent day after day at the coffee shop, drinking cup and cup of pure, black coffee, and eating nothing else, until Jodie finally convinced him with one line:

"I wondering what Akemi is thinking right now, seeing you like this."

That was the line that shook him, that gave him the power to battle and fight, and to live on, but only physically. And he suppressed the rage, love, hopelessness, everything he felt all inside him. And all these years of suppression burst, like a soda can that was shook too much. And he broke down.

"Conan, can you be there for my wedding?" Ran asked him on the phone. She felt jabbed by a knife. Before, Conan was always there when Shinichi wasn't, and abandoning Shinichi made her felt like abandoning Conan, forever.

But a cherry voice came back, "Of course I will, Ran-nee-chan." And they both just knew that cherriness was fake. They knew, without any reason.

Conan heard a man's voice—Araide—coming from the background. "Ran, hurry up! We shouldn't be late for our appointment with the wedding gown store."

"Okay!" shouted Ran, and she went back to the phone, "Conan, I have to go, okay? So I'll see you at the wedding?"

"Yup! Have fun! I know you will be the most beautiful person on earth in your wedding gown."

"I so will not! Okay, bye!"

"Bye." A click, and nothing.

Shinichi hanged on to the receiver and listened to the nothingness. This was what he wanted to hear. The Nothingness, like the product of the red string, the broken red string.


End file.
